Life, a long journey to find my true self
이국희(윤리교육 21)
Suddenly, that thought occurred to me. What is this heart that sometimes loves passionately and sometimes hates passionately? Moments of happiness and moments of sadness are ultimately just a moment. Spring with beautiful flowers blooming, summer with lush green leaves, fall with falling leaves, and winter with pure white snow. What is this feeling that changes with each season? Someone's words and actions can stab me like a dagger, and sometimes give me a magnificent resonance that touches my heart.
I think it's ultimately like that in relationships with people as well. If there is a meeting, there is also a separation. If I hold on to that moment that is not eternal, all that remains is pain. It will get better with time. Who on earth am I to be like that? When I look at an empty classroom, I sometimes feel empty. However, when someone fills that space and greets each other warmly, my heart feels enriched again. Aren’t those small happinesses achieved in fleeting encounters what allows us alive? It seems that those fleeting moments, those small memories, come together and give us the strength to live. Even if this moment is not forever, if I can live with that short moment, that's enough. Because nothing lasts forever anyway.
What on earth is life? What is at the end of the road where everyone is rushing towards something? When I reach the end, what is left for me? No one knows what lies at the end of living hard. In that uncertain possibility, all I can do is just live silently in the moment. I think living each day like that, cherishing my relationships among the ones that pass by, that is life. Even if we lose something precious, shouldn't we live resolutely without obsession? I think I can live a much happier life if I think of it as just a temporary stay, like a traveler taking a break. Today and tomorrow, let's just live each day quietly and do our best. I believe that if I spend the day loving passionately like that, my true self will be there at the end. I shall go like an unsurprised lion, like a wind not caught in a net, like a lotus not tainted by mud, like the horn of a rhinoceros. If someone asks me, “Who are you?” I will answer: "I'm still on my way. Towards the true me"
